Today, May 28th, 2022 – is my 7 year Anniversary of being in remission from Mantle Cell Lymphoma.
It seems as if it was yesterday but also as if it happened long ago in another lifetime. I honestly did not think I would be here to write this today. They say people are never “cured” of MCL – and the 10-year survival rate is pretty dismal – but I’m personally working on improving that statistic. Because I have several acquired gene mutations (epigenetic) that enhance the likelihood of developing a blood cancer – I have to be very careful as to not trigger them – by doing the best things to allow my body to function optimally. That includes consuming a whole food plant-based nutrient dense diet, getting moderate exercise, getting quality sleep, taking supplements that are cellular protective (antioxidants), avoiding toxins and managing stress effectively. That last point is by far the most difficult for me.
Who is NOT stressed these days? I’d like to meet that person. Seven years ago – when I was going through my cancer treatment – I was very stressed of course. Between getting a life-threatening diagnosis, the hospitalizations, chemotherapy, side effects, discomfort, not being able to be present at my business, the forced isolation and the worry that the treatments won’t work and the disease will come back were all very real concerns, yet somehow I managed through them. I had (only) one anxiety attack – which was ironically enough – May 28th – when they performed the bone marrow biopsy at the cancer center – which would ultimately lead to my status of being in remission. The anxiety attack was due to having a bad reaction to the local anesthetic injection which caused my heart to race uncontrollable. And then of course the anxiety made it continue to race. But this was the one and only time I had anything close to an anxiety attack.
Seven years later and my feelings of stress are higher than they’ve been in 30 years. How? Why?
One way I think about it is that while previously I was going through my own personal cancer situation and everyone has their own personal situations that they were dealing with – the world in general was fairly stable and you could count on it being stable the next day. For a number of reasons – we can’t say this today.
These days mostly everyone in the US is going through collective trauma from the fallout of COVID (like it or not it is not over yet) and how it has impacted their lives. It has killed over a million people here in the US at the time of this writing. Tens of millions have had it, some of these people have long-term problems they are still managing through. People have lost jobs and businesses with certain industries like restaurants, hospitality, education, entertainment and brick and mortar retailers being hit the hardest. Parents have had to manage their children’s schooling through it all as well as their well-being on top of their own well-being. There are supply chain problems with certain goods because plants had to close down or operate with minimal staff. There are protocols that are confusing or keep changing because we are dealing with an unknown virus that has not been seen before and so mistakes were made, especially early on. There is the controversy over the vaccines in a number of ways including side effects, effectiveness over time and what is the right interval to give them? And then there is the question of getting back to “normal” life and what that means? For me it means that I will never be able to get back to my life pre-COVID until it is eradicated, given my immunocompromised state. This is sobering. My life will look different going forward, perhaps forever.
There is an unimaginable war going on in Europe where one country was invaded by another – horrible war crimes are taking place and we are seeing them happen in real time. There is credible talk of nuclear war to a level that I have not heard in my 59 years on this planet. As citizens here – we feel helpless to do much about it except donate what we can to the people and animals impacted by the war.
There is also a collective anger dredged up that I feel all around and as an empath it hits hard. If I had to summarize why in one sentence it would be: There’s a lack of empathy for other people. Further – It is a lack of understanding about the situations of others and what brings them to that point. “We” become isolated and stick with small and familiar groups with similar thinking which then confirms our attitudes, further isolating ourselves from others who are different in some way. Differences are look at as negatives that are somehow harmful. Personally, I think that this is one of the biggest challenges that humans face and is at the cause of most of the pain in the world.
I have to mention the instability in US political systems in various ways that have never been challenged in these ways before. Once again, in my 59 years on this planet, I have never seen anything close to this, and I was alive through Watergate.
And lastly there’s always the economy which at the end of the day is what affects most people’s lives more directly than anything else. Right now there’s an instability there which may lead to serious problems for many. People are already hurting and everyone is watching and waiting to see where we go from here, while tightening up on their spending.
The theme that keeps coming up is “instability”. In our country and our planet. And in my health. And this instability makes you feel like you have no control over your situation. Feeling like you have no control over your situation and feeling powerless leads to stress, and then to anxiety and depression. And so here we are.
While I go through my day-to-day issues that cancer has brought such as a partially weakened immune system – because of this making sure that I don’t catch COVID (or anything else for that matter) and mitigating the effects of my damaged genes to prevent a cancer recurrence – there are these global issues that weren’t there to this extent seven years ago adding to an already stressful situation. How am I handling it all? These are the actual things I do to cope:
- Walking and exercising (still doing lots of PT exercises after my fall last October).
- Meditation/Breathwork – through live online classes as well as apps.
- Being at my wellness center/work planning.
- Taking breaks when I need to and on days off sometimes doing a fair amount of nothing much. Sometimes watching mindless shows on TV helps to take the focus off of the “heaviness” of life for awhile
- Turning off the news and just catching highlights in the morning and afternoon online – never before bed.
- Once/week therapy session.
- Spending time with my husband and with a few friends as I can given my immunity situation at this time.
- Spending time with my cats and we are planning to add a dog to our family in the next few months.
- Talking to friends and clients in person or online.
- Studying to further my education in Nutritional Sciences.
- Not straying from my healthy diet too severely at any one time.
- Listening to music ranging with genres ranging from Spa to Heavy Metal.
- Being involved in various facets of animal rescue.
- Taking certain supplements that support the mind – CBD oil, DMG, EPA/DHA
I have to control my stress and not let it overtake me because of the impact that stress has on the mind and the body. The mind and the body are one. Your mind is literally in your body. They are not isolated from each other!
The impact of prolonged stress on the mind and body is significant. Here is a detailed view of the effects of prolonged stress by the American Psychological Association. In brief – here is a list:
- Muscle tension/Pain/Headaches
- Hyperventilation/Panic attacks
- Increased heart rate/Elevated blood pressure/Increased risk for cardiovascular disease
- Lowered immune function
- Altered microbiome
- Problems with digestion/Reflux/Gas/Bloating/Constipation/Diarrhea
- Anxiety/Depression
- Low libido
- Exacerbation of existing illnesses
Clearly you can see that this list (including lowered immune function) is full of things that I don’t want to experience and yet from time to time I do. Lately I have been getting headaches (sometime migraines) almost weekly and that creates stress as well! But I try to get back to helpful ways of coping as I listed above to keep on track and mitigate the effects of these very stressful past years. Being mindful of coping with the instability in my own health as well as in our world. After all – I want to keep being around to celebrate each May 28th with another year in remission. Someone has to skew the results for the Mantle Cell Lymphoma survival rate. I am up for the job!
Wishing you good health and a great life-
Sheryl
